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Post by savanna georgia cyers on Jun 28, 2009 6:55:42 GMT -6
------------------------------------------- [/b][/center][/color] ---- S [/font][/color]avanna was not enthused with herself at the moment. In the last five to ten minutes she had done what she didn't want to do. That was having Jude Conrad Andrews hating her, she had loved that boy ever since the day they had begun dating back in seventh grade. Jude hated her for ignoring the letters he’d written and the calls he had made. Savanna had thought Jude had hated her since the day she had broken it off with him back the day before school was to resume she had been sent off to rehab for distraught teens. Unfortunately she didn't know how she was going to fix this but Savanna knew she definitely had to. Telling him she did it out of love and that she was sorry wasn't enough obviously. Savanna hated having enemies especially the enemy turning out to be the boy she had dated for about a year and six months. Being quite afraid to be face to face with Jude very soon she had to tell him everything from the overdose to the break-up. The countless offences she had done, the countless times she had begged her mother to bring her back home. ---- S[/font][/color]avanna had tried everything to get out early, she was lucky to have only been placed for ten months rather then a full year and then some. Maybe he would believe she was telling the truth face to face. Incidentally she got nervous about being face to face with Jude Andrews for the first time in about eleven months aside from school functions and many times of hall way passing. Logging off her messenger she set her laptop in the middle of her bed and got up, picking up her cell phone she shoved that into her jeans pocket. Grabbing her house keys just because she exited her room after a quick look around. Making sure she didn't need anything she walked out of her room and headed down the stairs of her house to the kitchen. Getting herself a can of soda and other small bag of chips Savanna made her way to the living room where she told him she would be. Remembering to grab an extra soda she walked to the living room and sat herself down on the couch. Sitting back she rested her head on the back of the couch she leaned forward sitting upright. ---- P[/font][/color]lacing her chips on the coffee table while she opened her soda and took a drink of it. The fizz at the top always made a tingle down her throat but damn didn't it feel amazing. Setting the can of soda down and picked up the bag of chips opening them up and taking one out. It had been quite some time since she had eaten chips and incidentally she missed her chips since the no junk food in rehab. God how many times she bypassed that rule until they did daily junk food checks on her room. Shaking her head she had to start not thinking about what went on there, she wasn’t there no more and if she kept herself on track she never would be again in her life. Sighing she grabbed the can of soda and put the chip bag on the table taking another drink of the soda. She missed her junk food and now she could have it anytime she wanted and nobody would stop her unless she got sick of course. Grinning at herself in the window she could see outside but nobody could see inside to her that was a good thing. ---- E[/font][/color]xhaling Savanna so did not want to be face to face with Jude Andrews, as bad as she felt on messenger about what she did. She would probably wind up feeling a million times worse and then some considering she hid it from everybody but worst of all she hid it from him. Not telling him might have been the worst mistake ever but at least she was on her way to telling him when the miscarriage happened. Even so she could have at least told him when she landed her ass in the hospital for overdosing and needing her stomach pumped. Luckily the doctor that had done the stomach pump knew how scared she was and didn't let the knowledge of the pregnancy be put in the record of her stay or anything. Ignoring her gut feeling to message him and tell him to not come over she really couldn't do that now he was probably half way or three quarters of his way there. So therefore she had no choice but to let him in, tell him and risk everything including a new friendship. Savanna knew he would probably not want to be friends with her ever again. ---- A[/font][/color]ll that she knew was he would at least finally know everything from the day she had lost their child to the day she had ended up going to rehab for distraught teens. Savanna didn't want enemies, she wanted friends. And finding that in Jude after this was probably going to be anything but possible. Oh how she hated herself more then anything in the world for what she had done. Hiding it from everyone had been unsuccessful considering Cassie was the first to know and now Roscoe would be the second. Cassie only knew of the miscarriage, she had known who the guy was but she wasnt going to tell Savanna had anything to do with it. Savanna didn't need her business being known to all the world. Just simple people like whomever was involved deserved to know. Except Savanna's mother and sister still didn'y know the full extent of the overdose and depressive anxiety moods she had gone through for two weeks. Thinking she heard somebody at the door she caught her own breath holding back from running and hiding like a scared little girl. Sitting back she took a drink of the soda grabbing some chips also. ---- H[/font][/color]earing footsteps coming down the front hall to the living room she held her breath for what seemed like forever before seeing curls. He was there. Hi Jude, I'm in here she stated leaning sideways on the couch so he wasn't confused as to where the voice was coming from. Setting the can of soda down she crossed her legs indian style and waited for him to come and sit on the couch. I brought in a can of soda if you want something to drink she added with a weak smile. She was trying to make small talk before she got into telling him everything else. The least he deserved was a drink of something first. At least that's what she thought was considered polite offering somebody a drink when they arrived. Leaning her side against the couch she pointed slowly to the extra closed can of soda sitting next to the half gone bag of chips. Hoping he wouldn't be to upset with her like he had been on the messenger she gulped inwardly before exhaling air through her nose. I don't want you to hate but I understand if you do hoping he would understand her reasons.[/blockquote][/size] ------------------------------------------- [/b][/color][/center] ---- tagged [/font][/color] jude conrad andrews ---- word count[/font][/color] twelve hundred bby ---- outfit[/font][/color] click it up---- song[/font][/color] what did i do to your heart by jonas brothers ---- notes[/font][/color] omg im so amazed =) first post in months over that many words yay[/blockquote][/size][/color] |
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Post by jude conrad andrews on Jun 28, 2009 13:24:26 GMT -6
 Jude liked to think of himself as a straightforward, logical guy. That being said, he had no idea how to cope with heartbreak, especially when it was sudden and unexplained. It was about a year ago today that he would probably be at the carnival with Savanna, winning prizes for her and kissing her at the top of the farris wheel. He honestly didn't understand what exactly had happened. Things had gotten very muddled for him around that time; Cassie was acting snappy toward him, and Savanna was beginning to exhibit behaviors that were unlike her. One day he had woken up, gone to her house in the middle of the rain, and rang the doorbell until his clothes were sopping. The bouquet of roses that he'd bought were starting to pale in the downpour, but he stood there for hours until a neighbor came by and said they saw her book an early flight out. He was confused as he walked back home late that night, his hair forming damp curls on his forehead and his brow furrowed deeply. Gone? It was as if his mind couldn't wrap around the concept. Over the next few days, the feeling was solidified by her noticeable absence. His phone was silent, the days dragged longer, but he still kept some shred of hope that this was unreal. She would come back to him, soon enough. She couldn't just leave him like this, his heart was on the line. She loved him too much to hurt him this way. Jude waited as patiently as he could manage, trying to go about his life as if nothing was wrong, but exactly three weeks since the day she disappeared he completely broke down. He had no idea what to do with himself, except for try to manage the growing pain in his chest. Each thump of his heart was increasingly unbearable, sounding loud and hollow in his ears.
The fact that she was gone opened up a world of dubious possibilities for Jude. She had left him because she didn't need him. She didn't want him anymore. Maybe he had been too boring for her, a little too quirky and devoted to their relationship. Or maybe he hadn't been romantic enough for her, and she'd gone to pursue something more. With a pang of fear, he realized that she might have been afraid of how fast things were moving. After all, they had slept with each other only a year ago, and they were so young. Every possibility was worse than the one preceding it, and he felt his heart plummet into the pit of his stomach. This was the worst that he'd ever felt in a long time, ever since three years ago when he found out his father had been murdered. How could she do this to him? Not even a single word, a good-bye or a sorry? He would be able to cope if she had left him some indication that she had him in mind. Savanna had left without a single word, and the worst part was that he still loved her just as much as he had before she'd gone. The days grew unbearable, his mother unable to cheer him up as he slowly paled away in his room. He couldn't bring himself to play his guitar, his piano playing became sloppy, and he couldn't write a single song to save his life. All he did was go to school, sit there like a ghost of his former self, and then come home and do his homework before falling asleep. Most of the time he couldn't even do that, staying awake long into the night and curling on his bed as wave after wave of heartbreak hit him. It wasn't as though he was the most sensitive guy in the world, but he was pretty romantic, and his heart had just been crushed into dust.
The piece of him that hoped that she would come back began to dim away, but the pain never faded. The weeks ran into months, and Jude lost all concept of time as he went about his day-to-day. The only constant person there for him was Cassie, and he was grateful for her friendship. She pieced him together when he was positively falling apart, and he really owed her. She seemed insistent on something recently, however; he couldn't put his finger on it, but there was a new urgency about her that confused him. Jude was clueless to the subtlety of girls, so he had no idea just how Cassie felt for him and even if he did, what could he do about it? There was no way he was moving on so soon, especially since Savanna was still out there, and still might come home. The best he could do was keep waiting, putting his entire life on hold for her. On that particular day, he was sitting in his room and working at an advanced physics problem on his desk. It involved formulas and terms that college students would have problems with, but he was plowing through it with the steady determination that he was known for. One look at him and no one knew that he was such a physics buff, but he really loved the subject. It brought him some closure about his father's death, and it helped him clear his mind when things were complicated. Jude yawned and glanced at his phone, half-expecting an encouraging text from Cassie. He had been receiving a lot of those lately, and it had lifted his spirits somewhat. It had almost been a year, he realized, and maybe he was finally moving somewhere. Jude was in repair - he wasn't together completely, but he was getting there now. His phone lit up with another number, one that he recognized but had long since deleted from his phone in attempts of moving on. His heart shuddered to a stop and his breath caught in his throat, the familiar constricting pain coming into his chest once more. Not again, not when he'd just stopped aching. The young man picked it up and read the text saying that she was home - Savanna was home. Here. A walk away. His mind drifted to the day he had stood at her door, cold and heartbroken and soaked to the bone. She wanted to see him, and he wasn't sure if he could muster the energy to see her. Jude sighed and forced himself to stand up, going to the shower and getting ready. No matter what, there was a part of himself that could never ignore her. The one person that he'd pined for for all these months was back, and he couldn't let her out of his life again. Not without an explanation. Jude dressed in a casual enough outfit, a leather jacket over a v-neck shirt and jeans. The dress shoes made it a little fancier, but that was the way he dressed for the most part. He wondered if she would recognize him, or if he would recognize her - a year was a long time. In that year he'd gained a lot more muscle, even cut his head of curls so that it was a little more condensed and easier to work with. He looked older, she would look older.. things had undeniably changed between them.
He left his house with a goodbye to his mother, his head buzzing and his heart aching. That familiar pain was tearing around the edges of his heart, but he forced himself to keep one foot in front of another on the familiar life. The Parisian air was fresh today, which made him feel a little better. Jude was apprehensive about what their reunion would mean for their relationship. What were they now? Could he even call them friends? He was a very forgiving, understanding guy, and Savanna knew it, but she had ripped him to pieces and she had to understand that seeing her again was not going to be easy. He couldn't wait to see her beautiful face again, but he didn't want to see her ever again. The corners of his mouth pulled down into a slight frown as he knocked at her door, surprised at how soon he had arrived at her home. Jude walked in nervously, the door swinging open at his slight touch, and looked around. The interior was familiar to him, and he walked with measured precision to the place she knew he'd be, the living room. They spent a lot of time together there when she was around, so it would be odd to see her sitting there in the flesh. When he turned the corner and entered the room, his heart fluttered in his ribcage and he stared at Savanna as if he was seeing a ghost, unable to believe that she was actually sitting in front of him. His handsome face creased into a small, crooked smile, his chocolate colored eyes meeting her brilliant blue ones. His gaze was completely gentle, welcoming, but heartbroken. It was clear that he was unprepared for this, but he was giving her a chance. Jude was full of chances. "Hey," he replied, walking to the couch and sitting next to her in the space she had left for him. It was as if she'd never went away, it was easy to be with her. At the same time, his heart was still raw from her departure not too long ago. His eyes fell on the soda and he gratefully picked it up, cracking it open deftly. "Diet? You're the best." She still knew him well, just as well as he knew her. They had practically memorized each other. His diabetes kept him from the regular stuff, but she always accommodated him. Jude looked into her eyes and nervously averted his gaze, still antsy around her.
Her last words caused his brow to furrow and he shook his head slowly, with certainty. "Hate you? Why would you ever think that? I could never hate you." Honesty rang in each of his words, his voice as soft as it had always been. No matter what she'd done to him, he couldn't bring himself to hate her. She was his girlfriend, after all.. at least, he thought. Where did that leave them? "Savanna," he sighed, feeling a jolt of pain at the sound of her name. "What are we, now?" Jude had mixed feelings that she was back, but he really needed to know where they stood. It was important, so that he could begin the final healing of his heart.
TAGGED: savanna georgia cyers.
STATUS: done!
WORDS: 1774. sorry i got so carried away!
NOTES: aww.
OUTFIT: CLICK!
LOCATION: savanna's place.
OTHER CREDIT: graphics to me, lyrics to jobros.
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Post by savanna georgia cyers on Jun 28, 2009 16:54:16 GMT -6
------------------------------------------- [/b][/center][/color] ---- S [/font][/color]avanna wasn’t worried to much about coming back it was who she was going to run into that she worried about. Talking about feelings and shit with people just was not her scene, she didn’t do well and never did like to explain shit. Normally she’d hide away and devoid talking but the most Jude deserved was an explanation why she had left without a goodbye. Especially when her mother had told her she had come home to be told a neighbour noticed a curly haired boy standing on the doorstep waiting for what seemed like a few hours. Savanna knew she should have at least went over to his house that morning and told him what was happening. But the fear of him hating her even before she left had stuck in her mind the entire night before when she had been told where she would be going that next day. It hurt her to say the least when she arrived back in town and Cassie had basically attacked her but then again she had deserved more then a bitching out on messenger. Savanna knew that for a sure fact. Fortunately Cassie understood the facts, hopefully Jude would to. ---- S[/font][/color]o the wrong thing to do had been just up and leave without so much as even calling Jude or Cassie to explain. Either way she was in over her head and making up for it would have to be something entirely and utterly very drastic. Behind the small grin on her face her heart had slowly shattered the day she had left the home she was now sitting in at the moment. Coincidentally enough she felt no different in the house then before. Unfortunately it was the same house they had lived in when her father died which meaning he had passed away on their couch she would be sitting on momentarily. Savanna didn’t like to even think about her feelings, but today was all about explaining her 10 months absence and now recent return. Fortunately her mother and sister had gone into town that day and said they wouldn’t be back until late that night. So luckily she had the house to herself which to her meant if it went all wrong she could scream her head off without worry of her mother coming to the rescue. Savanna had more then enough reasons to think Jude would hate her. ---- O[/font][/color]ne being the fact that she didn’t call him the night before, the day she left nor the next 10 months after her departure to South Dakota, USA. Okay so she didn’t dislike the fact that she got to live in America for 10 months out of a year but she didn’t like it either being that far from home. Coincidentally enough Jamiah had called about every day for an hour to two hours at a time. Sadly though Savanna hadn’t made any advance in trying to even contact Jude while she had been gone. So that part was her fault for not trying to call him there but it hadn’t been like she meant to leave him like that. The Rehabilitation Center for Distraught Teens was not the most pleasing environments to try using the phone in. She had hated the fact that she had been referred to as a distraught teen. Although it was partially true she just hated when a label was placed on her for what happened. Inhaling for a moment she let go of the air slowly her chest lowering as she did. She hoped he showed up even though she really didn’t deserve it. ---- E[/font][/color]xhaling Savanna so did not want to be face to face with Jude Andrews, as bad as she felt on messenger about what she did. She would probably wind up feeling a million times worse and then some considering she hid it from everybody but worst of all she hid it from him. Not telling him might have been the worst mistake ever but at least she was on her way to telling him when the miscarriage happened. Even so she could have at least told him when she landed her ass in the hospital for overdosing and needing her stomach pumped. Luckily the doctor that had done the stomach pump knew how scared she was and didn't let the knowledge of the pregnancy be put in the record of her stay or anything. Ignoring her gut feeling to message him and tell him to not come over she really couldn't do that now he was probably half way or three quarters of his way there. So therefore she had no choice but to let him in, tell him and risk everything including a new friendship. Savanna knew he would probably not want to be friends with her ever again. ---- S[/font][/color]he didn’t even have the guts to even change her cell phone number while she had gone there it had stayed the same ever since she’d gotten it back in 7th grade just before her father died and her mother had gotten promoted at work. Savanna just hoped that he wouldn’t regret coming over to see her for the first time in 10 months, she’d only been back about two weeks now. The only who had known was Cassie and that was cause Savanna had popped online one day. Incidentally enough she hadn’t been on her messenger in 10 months so that was a pretty obvious fact that she was back in Paris, France. Sighing softly as she grabbed a few more chips after he had sat down on the couch near her she moved slightly to give enough room to devoid awkward closeness. Although she didn’t feel awkward just sorry for what she’d caused him. He had obviously been hurting while she’d been gone and she hadn’t been there for him to stop the pain for either of them. No, I`m not the best, I`m a horrible person she stated putting her soda can down. ---- S[/font][/color]o why wouldn’t the boy hate her, it was quite obvious she didn’t deserve anyone talking to her right now. But did that stop people from thinking that, no apparently not. Shrugging her shoulders for a moment she brought her gaze up from the floor to him sitting there in the flesh it had felt like forever since they’d been this close. I deserve it, I left you like that and didn’t even call, I don’t deserve you or Cassie being this nice to me she answered. Maybe that was why she hadn’t called, to worried he’d tell her to never call again and hang up. Either way it still wasn’t right to leave him or Cassie hanging out like that especially him considering they had dated for almost a year and six months. That dreaded damn question she didn’t ever want to be asked but it had to happen right. They had to figure them out once and for all. I …. honestly I don’t know she replied in a barely audible voice. She wasn’t sure what they were now, If he forgave her that would make her happy today. But Jude there is another reason I texted you. ---- T[/font][/color]he dreaded confession was coming next, he had a right to know what happened and where it would have ended them if she had stayed and had not lost it. Cassie knew and Savanna trusted Cassie with more then she trusted anyone with. I kind of hid something major from you before I even ended up in the hospital for overdosing. Exhaling she glanced around the living room before her eyes landed back on him. The one person she had depended on was the one person she had been scared to talk to the most. Reaching for the free hand he wasn’t holding the soda with she slowly grasped it looking him squarely in the eye, Jude you deserve this much, I got pregnant after you and I .. you know had sex that time hoping he would drop her hand and hate for good she held his hand slightly firmer but enough to give him leeway on letting go of hers. She wouldn’t stop him if he wanted to leave she’d let him that was his turn now, she’d gone and done it the first time. Now was his turn to go and leave her if he wanted to. ---- I[/font][/color]nhaling she spoke up, I got scared so the day I lost it I was on my way to come and tell you I swear I was she added. His hand still in hers, she didn’t want to let go and lose him but she didn’t have a choice it was his turn. Savanna would more then enough understand him leaving her house after hearing all that. But at least he knew now and could decide upon that. Leaning closer she kissed the corner of his mouth not the lips but very close to it, enough to show she was really sorry and still to that day loved him more then anything in the world besides her family.[/blockquote][/size] ------------------------------------------- [/b][/color][/center] ---- tagged [/font][/color] jude conrad andrews ---- word[/font][/color] one thousand three hundred and fourteen [1314] ---- outfit[/font][/color] click it up---- song[/font][/color] what did i do to your heart by jonas brothers ---- notes[/font][/color] mkay so i had to hold back tears when i read your posttt♥[/blockquote][/size][/color] |
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